AbleToTrain by Willing & Able

Sexual violence over men


If you don’t believe in sexual violence or sexual assault on a man, raise your hand. If your hand is waving in the air, you are not alone. But you are wrong.

Most studies show that 10 to 20 percent of men experience sexual harassment or harassment at some point in their lives. This means that thousands of Canadian boys and men are abused every year.

Men’s sexual assault has historically been shrouded in mystery and shame. Our culture values inviolability and the denial of pain as essential qualities of ‘masculinity’. Boys are simply not allowed to admit that they have been sexually abused and abused.

Male survivors report a lack of recovery and support services – many services focused on the needs of the thousands of abused and assaulted girls and women. Our law enforcement agencies and judicial systems are often inadequately equipped to deal with these types of crimes against men. Because few people realize that a large number of men are victims of sexual harassment and assault, male survivors are an almost forgotten category of victims.

Most men who have been sexually abused prefer never to talk about it, even with people they know and trust. They fear that someone will distrust them, ridicule them, embarrass them, accuse them of weakness, ignore them or, in the case of straight men, perceive them as gay.

Worst of all, male survivors fear being blamed for their own attacks because they are not “male” or “macho” enough to protect themselves or prevent them.

For all these reasons, many boys who have survived sexual abuse or assault endure their traumatic experiences in silence and alone.

Shocking Statistics More than half of all reported sexual assaults occur in or within 1.6 kilometers of a survivor’s home. The other 20% were at a friend’s, neighbor’s or relative’s house.

Male Sexual Assault

The most common target of sexual abuse against men is adolescents. Men are the perpetrators of the majority of cases of sexual assault and sexual assault involving men.

Contrary to popular belief, most abusive men identify as heterosexual and have frequent sexual relations with women. The reporting rate of male victims is even lower than the previous rate of female victims.

Top Reasons Men Don’t Report Sexual Abuse: Fear of Being Gay.

Myth and Fact

Myth about male sexual assault have the effect of minimizing the seriousness of the offender’s crime and the impact it has on the offender. These myths also influence how these boys and men think of themselves and how our society treats them.

Myth: Men can not be sexually assaulted.

Fact: Men can and do experience sexual harassment on a daily basis. It can happen to anyone, regardless of sexual orientation, size, strength, appearance, occupation, race or culture. It happens at home, at work, in closets, and in cars—just about anywhere perpetrators think they can get away with it. It is not uncommon for a male victim to “freeze” in shock or fear of bodily harm. Few guys have ever thought that this could happen, and therefore are not ready.

Myth: Only gay men are sexually harassed.

Fact: The frequency of sexual assaults involving gay men is slightly higher than for heterosexual men, but this is mainly due to the fact that gay men can be targets of anti-gay violence from other men. Heterosexual boys can be and will be sexually abused in large numbers. MIT

Myth: Only homosexuals rape other children.

Fact: Most male abusers who abuse or sexually assault other men identify as heterosexual. Some criminals target men simply because it gives them a greater sense of dominance, power, and control than stalking a woman. Sexual abuse is usually more associated with violence and anger than with lust or sexual attraction. Most men who target boys for sexual harassment are not gay.

Myth: Children who were sexually abused as children will grow up to become drug addicts.

Fact: Although premature sexual experiences can often cause serious emotional harm to boys, it is not always possible to have sex with them. But most male survivors do not repeat the abuse that has happened to them. In Fact, statistics show that many men who are sexually or sexually abused have actually suffered something other than child sexual abuse (likely physical or emotional abuse or domestic violence) when they were younger.

Myth: Men can not be sexually abused by women.

Fact: Women can and can abuse and abuse men sexually, but very few survivors report. If you include emotional blackmail as a way to force a man to undergo sexual assault, the number of crimes will increase significantly. The sexual assault of a man by a woman need not involve penile penetration; The abuser might use sex toys or other foreign objects on a man he doesn’t want. It is not uncommon for men to experience unintentional ejaculation during sexual assault.

Myth: Having an erection or ejaculation during a sexual assault means that the survivor “really wanted it” or even agreed.

Fact: This myth creates a huge problem for all male survivors: guilt and confusion. Physical stimulation can cause an erection, whether the recipient wants it or not. Pressure on the prostate can cause the same reaction. An erection or ejaculation is a normal, involuntary physiological response that is not automatically equated with arousal or approval. The surviving man may be confused or confused about his physiological response during the incident. Or he may feel guilty or ashamed.

Effects on boys and men who have been sexually abused

Anyone who has been sexually abused or sexually abused, male or female, gay or heterosexual, experiences lasting effects and emotional pain. They are victims. Sexual abuse and sexual assault affect men in the same way as women. Here are all the current reactions of the survivors:

  • Anges

  • Anxiety

  • Sadness

  • Pressure

  • Self -sense

  • Snobilitsa

  • Despair

  • Suicidal feelings, than fear and aggression

Minimize the influence of experience

Like women, men who experience aggression may suffer from depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and other emotional problems. However, because men often have different life experiences than women, their emotional symptoms may be different from those of women.

Our culture reduces the impact of sexual harassment and harassment. When people discover an attack or abuse, they are often accused of lying or told that the crime is somehow their fault. People tend to blame the male victim, not the perpetrator. Male survivors often face incomplete attitudes, especially if they choose to report the crime, and may lack the support of family and friends to do so.

Support for a man who has been sexually abused

If a male family member or friend tells you that he or she has been sexually abused, answer in the same way as a woman:


It is not your role to question whether there was a sexual assault. Do not blame him for assault. No one deserves sexual violence. It doesn’t matter if he is drunk or irritable, how he behaves, or even if he is in a relationship with the offender. Sexual abuse is never the survivor’s fault.

Help him explore options

Don’t care about the situation or make him do what you think he should. Give him the freedom to choose the path of recovery that he feels most comfortable with, even if you have done otherwise. There is no “right” way for someone to respond after being attacked.

Listen to him

It’s important to tell him that when he’s ready he can talk to you. At some point in the recovery process, he may turn to you for support. When this happens, listen. Do not interrupt or inject your emotions. Your careful attention will be very valuable.

Ask before touch

Do not assume that physical contact, even in the form of a gentle touch or hug, will be reassuring. Give him all the space he needs and try not to get him to react personally. You can sit in an open position and gently signal that you are ready for physical contact, or you can easily ask him if he wants a touch or a hug.