Everyone is Different. However, we know that sexual violence can have devastating consequences on men’s lives. Below is a list of some of the most common problematic reactions associated with experiencing sexual violence, including sexual abuse or childhood sexual abuse. They were identified in the course of research and direct conversations with men and include:
Use of alcohol or other drugs.
Suicidal thoughts and behaviors.
Memory and aggression.
Nightmares and insomnia
Anxiety and fear.
Change of mood.
Severe feelings of guilt, shame or humiliation.
Feeling lost and sad
Helplessness, loneliness and alienation.
Low self-esteem, self-doubt, decreased self-confidence.
Intimate relationship problems.
Issues related to masculinity and gender identity.
Sexual issues and difficulties.
Unfortunately, men who have been sexually assaulted have a different set of challenges to deal with. Difficulties arising from gender expectations and situations in our society. Dealing with sexual violence often means dealing with a lot of thoughts about “being a man.”
Below is a list of problems often faced by men who are victims of sexual violence. They have to do with expectations of what a person “should” do or be in our society. Child sexual abuse or sexual abuse can lead to:
Pressure to “prove” one’s courage.
Physical – to become bigger, stronger and more evil, through dangerous or violent behavior.
Sexually – having multiple female sexual partners, always appearing “in the mood” and sexually in control.
Confusion about gender and gender identity
The feeling of human inferiority.
Feeling of losing power, control and self-confidence in relation to masculinity.
Problems with intimacy and intimacy.
Fear that sexual abuse has made you “homosexual” or “homosexual”.
Homophobia – Fear or intolerance of any form of “homosexuality”.
As can be seen from the list above, some issues specifically concern gender expectations and the social world in which men live. In classifying these difficulties, it is important to recognize the social and relational parts of the problems identified and not to over-trouble the person himself.
The more we learn about child sexual abuse, the more we see the various factors that can influence how much impact it has on men’s lives.
Research has shown that what happened, who was involved, and how a man reacted affect all kinds and types of problems a man has to face.
Factors that appeared to be important were:
Age at onset of abuse – early onset is associated with greater exposure.
Duration and Frequency of Abuse – The longer the abuse lasts and the more often it occurs, the greater the impact.
The type of activity that constituted abuse — if there is penetration, violence, and emotional manipulation — all lead to greater effect.
The nature of the relationship with the stalker – if the person is a close family member or someone you previously trusted, the influence is stronger.
Number of people involved in abuse.
How abuse was detected and how it was responded to – if a man faces mistrust and lack of support, it can create additional difficulties.
Although the above factors have been found to affect the severity of sexual violence problems, note that none of the identified factors automatically lead men to miserable and painful lives.
Research suggests that the following three factors may also influence the degree of impact sexual abuse has on a man’s life:
The basic constitutional characteristics of the child (eg, temperament, self-esteem, and sense of personal control).
A supportive family environment (warmth, education, organization, etc.).
A person or support agency that provides positive support that helps the child.
Unfortunately, research shows that men today are less likely than women to seek help and support from family, friends and specialized sexual abuse services. Therefore, it is important that when men seek help, their friends, family, and caregivers take the time to listen and associate it with appropriate support.
In recent years, people have become very aware of the horrors of sexual abuse or assault of children and the significant impact it can have on a person’s life . To find out about some of the problems men face due to sexual abuse. Attention should be paid to the realization of a person’s ability to lead a satisfying and fruitful life. Do not fall into the trap of making experiences of sexual assault or sexual assault the cause of all life’s problems.
When talking to men about sexual abuse or harassment of children, Jim Hopper says it’s important to keep in mind:
Everyone has had traumatic experiences. Some experienced this as a child.
Exposure to sexual abuse is one of the many traumatic and potentially harmful events that a man can experience.
Sometimes not all childminders can protect children from painful experiences.
We all need love and support to cope with the effects of traumatic experiences.
Everyone should recognize and find ways to deal with the feelings generated by traumatic experiences, whether we have the support of others or not.
Many coping or self-regulation strategies work in one way, but they limit us in other ways.
After the experience of sexual abuse or sexual abuse of children, it is not uncommon for people’s lives to become closely linked to the problems associated with this experience. However, seeing the person as the problem and all his or her existing difficulties as a result of sexual abuse or sexual abuse can be counterproductive.
A useful way to deal with problems is to identify them. Make the problem external. Notice how they came into your life and explore how they work and how you can handle them. It is important to understand that the origin of problems is not within us, but relates to our life experiences and the social world in which we live. This gives us more room to move.
When addressing problems, it is helpful to clearly flag and identify problem parameters. Not all issues related to child sexual abuse or sexual abuse are the same. Some problems, such as physical injuries. There may be a clear link to sexual harassment. Other problems, such as alcohol or other drug abuse, may be a strategy to control bad memories—a strategy that has taken over and become a problem in its own right. The possibility of solving such problems becomes ‘more meaningful’ if they are understood as a habit that has become entrenched, and not as a direct ’caused’ by the abuse or sexual assault. As such, you don’t have as much to deal with sexual abuse as you manage its effects or results. Read more about this idea here.
When trying to solve a problem knowing what happens when the problem doesn’t appear can be extremely helpful.
This unique moment can provide important clues on how to avoid and avoid very difficult trouble. Taking note of these points can sometimes help break down our concerns, as they are no longer perceived as environmental, but as circumstances of what we do or think.